The Red Table is a messy table. At least this week it was.
Jada Pinkett-Smith's viral internet talk show, which typically features her mom and daughter, Willow, was the butt of every meme joke and took center stage in most conversations this past weekend. Everyone (and I do mean everyone) had to add their two-cents to the controversy surrounding Will and Jada's 20+ year marriage.
Here's a quick summary: Jada had an affair with August Alsina. He let the world know what went down. Will and Jada decided to respond.
Many of the commentators on this real-life soap opera, validated Jada's decision to be "entangled" with August. Some felt sorry for Will Smith, who appeared to be visibly pained during the entire conversation. Many others questioned the judgment that was being hurled at the Smiths, citing that no one and no relationship can claim to be perfect.
(Photo Credit: Facebook Watch)
As I listened to Will and Jada's surprisingly candid conversation, my attention was diverted to one particular statement. It went something like this:
Will: I feel like I'm that husband, who's standing with you at a press conference as you tell the world about your transgressions
Jada: I definitely understand why it would look that way or feel that way. But I actually don't look at it as a transgression at all.
I'm not going to focus on Will and Jada's marital issues. That is not my place. Even though they felt the need to address what happened on a public platform, it does not give me the authority to dissect and judge what she has done. I have been married three short years and I have my OWN relationship to discuss at somebody's red table.
However, the statement referenced previously caused me to pause and I have been replaying it in my head.
"I don't look it at is as a transgression at all"
Sis. This---I dunno.
Even if I never said it out loud, I am certain at some point I have minimized my decisions, my thoughts, and my behaviors to the point that I did not call them out for what they were--SIN. It could have been a lack of understanding on my end but more than likely it was because I did not want to admit that God had a standard and I didn't care about it.
Let me give you an example of what I mean--
Sex outside of marriage= Sin
Scenario: Sherri (that's me) decides that homeboy was worth it, so she had sex outside of marriage. Rationale: It's not a sin if you're in love, it's "experience".
Of course, this was not something I said, but my actions pulled an "August "on me. In other words, my actions snitched on me.
I don't know if Jada is a believer. However, even if she isn't, more and more Christians are walking around with her mindset. We are failing to call a spade a spade so that Jesus can begin the heart work necessary for us to be perfecting towards holiness. We are in essence saying "God, I understand how it could look that way or feel that way but I don't look at it as a transgression at all"
If we say that we have no sin [refusing to admit that we are sinners], we delude ourselves and the truth is not in us. [His word doe does not live in our hearts.] If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose]. If we say that we have not sinned [refusing to admit acts of sin], we make Him [out to be] a liar [by contradicting Him] and His word is not in us (1 John 1:8-10 AMP)
We all have a little Jada in us and this has nothing to do with her situationship. It has everything to do with how we view sin.
We have to remember that we are ALL sinners
There is no way around this. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. Have. Sinned.
We have to remember that God hates sin
This has not changed. Some of us have split the Lord into two categories "The God of the Bible" and "The God of the 21st Century." The latter is a compilation of a God that is fashioned to reflect whatever we believe to be right or wrong, a God that fits our agenda, our culture, and our opinions. The "God of the 21st Century" is one who doesn't hate anything but only loves. No ma'am. God is the same. Yes, he loves us. But He still hates sin.
We have to remember that God doesn't condemn
Romans 8:1 says that those who are in Christ Jesus are not condemned. Meaning, once we accept Christ as our Lord, we are freed from the guilt of sin and the penalty of eternal death. BUT that freedom has to accompany transformation, an adjusting of our crowns.
And as I type this, sis, God is bringing so many instances to my mind where I have fallen short and assumed a posture of "but it's not sin to me." I have to swallow my pride on this one.
Today, will you say this prayer with me?
Father, your word says that all have sinned and fallen short of your glory. Forgive me when I have intentionally ignored or downplayed my sins. But Lord, also forgive me for when I was unaware of how my behaviors and thoughts did not please you. Create in me a pure heart and renew a right spirit within me, so that I look less the world and more like you. In Jesus' name, amen.